{Take that, incompetant doctor.}

After posting here yesterday I decided to look into other OB offices in the area. I checked my insurance again and there was one doctor listed who wasn't a part of a big group. I check out the website and low and behold, "Infertility" is listed on her site under services! I called and asked the receptionist if the doctor had experience with recurrent miscarriage and pregnancy after loss and she said absolutely. I then tell her what's going on and she says, hang on a moment sweetie, let me look at the schedule. I was afraid she'd say the next appointment was a week away, but she comes back and says, we can get you in Thursday morning. Thursday morning? With no arguments? Heck yes I'll take it. I instantly felt better and felt like maybe I had found an office that actually understood and will give me the appropriate care I need.

I feel guilty about my first pregnancy. I knew something was wrong but I was afraid to stand up for myself. I blame myself for losing my daughter. For not getting the care I knew deep down I needed. I will not let that happen again. I will drive the 300 miles back and pay out of pocket to see my old doctors if I do not find a doctor here that I feel comfortable with and who I feel is given me the treatment I need.

Hopefully tomorrow morning I will be at a better place with a doctor I trust.