{The Little Baby That Could?}

I was a nervous wreck all weekend and it only got worse... last night I tossed and turned and woke up every hour afraid I'd overslept. We headed to the office and go in to the dark room. My heart was beating out of my chest. As soon as the screen came up, I saw the little sac and the fluttering heartbeat. I almost started crying... She says the heart rate is 104, and you're measuring around 5 weeks. I was so full of joy. There was the tiny flutter I had hoped for.

Then the appointment went downhill.

First. I have no idea why they are making me see the midwife. The deal with this office is that you have to have your "First OB Appointment" before you see your doctor. I had scheduled it for this Wednesday. I have a doctor picked out {I think}. I go in to see the midwife. She asks about my pregnancy symptoms. I say they are all going strong, but no morning sickness yet. She asks if I'm spotting/cramping, I said nope. Then she says... Well, I don't want to give you false hope, but you're going to miscarry.

W.T.H.?

I'm completely caught off guard by this.

She says the baby is small and the heart rate is too slow and I need to prepare to go to the ER this week.

W.T.H.? Again.

Ok, I'll give you that by my dates I should be 8 weeks. But how many times do I have to have to explain to her that my cycles are 40-50 days. She doesn't seem to understand that I didn't get a BFP until day 43. So yes, by my dates, I'm 3 weeks behind. However, every due date calculator I've used online that takes into account your cycle length {this is the best one I've found: http://www.pregnology.com/} says I'm somewhere in the late 5w - 6w range. Then Dr. Google also says that 104 is a perfectly fine heart rate for an early pregnancy {like the tech said}.

So she has me now crying convinced that my baby is going to die. She says to cancel my first OB appointment {which is what I need according to these people to see a doctor} and to schedule another viability scan next Monday. She then tells me to prepare myself.

I walk out so upset. I almost didn't go to work, but gathered myself and did. I did my research and realized this lady probably has no experience with high-risk pregnancies, or women who do not have a 28-day cycle. My plan is to call the office tomorrow and demand to see a doctor after my scan on Monday. If they say no because I don't have my first OB appointment done, I will kindly remind them they cancelled it for me, and then ask again. If they do not let me see a doctor, I'm going to find a new doctor.

I'm so over this doctor's office. I'm so over being told one thing, then told some thing else. My hope is that this little baby proves her wrong. Because this mama is already totally in love. ♥